Hey guys, welcome back! So sorry that I missed last week, but I gotta tell you, it’s been a time. However, it’s good to be here and hope you haven’t given up on me! (I know, I’ve been saying that a lot lately. Oops.) I also hope that this year has been treating you well so far! 

Anywhoo, with all the life stuff of both dr appointments and medical tests, I’ve just been kind of…here. Whatever this illness is that I have (that still has not been diagnosed as of yet), it’s just making me tired all the time. I have no energy, I just want to sleep nonstop and yet I have trouble actually going to sleep. My hours, which were never ‘normal’ to begin with, have gotten way off the charts. However, life goes on and so do I!

I have, of course, been working on my book. I am on yet another re-read and I have so many ideas now of how to condense the original story into something that get me  within the word count I need to submit it somewhere. The problem unfortunately then goes back to the previous paragraph. The more I think about what I want to do with the book, the lack of energy I have at the moment is holding the actual new writing back. Every night I sit and read through a few chapters, edit more and then mentally drift off somewhere else. In other words, I get so lost in the reading of the story, that when it comes time to change things around, I just kind of sit there.

To say it has been discouraging is an understatement. The last read through I did, I made so much progress. I had rewritten chapters and cut thousands more words and felt like I was really making a lot of progress. Now here I am, at chapter thirty-something again and I think last night, all I did was change some grammar and an apostrophe. Woo-hoo.

I’m trying not to get down about it. I just don’t want to lose the momentum and excitement I’ve had. I lost a few days of not working on it at all a couple of weeks ago and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. I’ve been working so hard on this since last April. Now here we are, with January almost over in this new year and while I’m not physically working on the book in front of me, I’ve been dreaming about where I want the story to go, how I want it to read and came up with new paths for the characters to go. 

Of course, getting all of this from my thoughts to the page is something completely different. Keeping me focused instead of flaking out is a challenge and it takes nothing to get me distracted these days.

Speaking of distractions…how about this snow huh? Ok so maybe it hasn’t snowed where you are. But here in the Northeast, the snow/frigid winter we’ve been having has been reminding us that Mother Nature is indeed in charge of things. Personally, I love snow. Even though my hatred of the month of January is well known, I still love snow. It makes everything magical and even though I am nowhere near school age anymore, I still look for the school closings like a kid. I don’t think that will ever leave me either. I used to love snow days as a kid. Meeting my friends at the park to go sledding or have massive snowball fights. Of course the walk back home was always rough. All the enthusiasm of the day was replaced by cold, wet clothes and having to walk uphill to my house with a sled was brutal. But there was always hot cocoa waiting for me and layers of blankets to snuggle under.

During this past storm, I sat with both the book I was reading and my keyboard to work on my own book, a hot cup of tea and watched as the snow poured down on us. I was up in the early morning hours as I always am and it was so peaceful and quiet, that for a bit, I forgot I was doing anything and just watched it come down. There was no noise. No sounds of the nearby highway that I’ve become so used to. No sounds of people starting their cars to go to work. No kids trudging early to school. Nothing. Just complete and blissful silence that let me hear the occasional snowflake hit my window.

Snow muffles life. Not just the sounds, but it literally halts our daily routine. I may not go outside a whole lot anymore, but it still brought me to a standstill watching it. It made me take a break. Made me sit back and reflect and for a little bit, also make me just let my mind go blank as I watched the flakes come down. I love trying to focus on one particular snowflake as it descends from the sky. Trying to see if I can follow it all the way down to its landing place. Not just because I find it hypnotizing, but also because for a brief shining moment, I don’t have to think about anything. I can just be.

Snow quieting our world is a great metaphor for what we all need to do now and then. While everything else in life is happening, we all need to take a step back now and then and just quiet ourselves. Many can do it when they are going to sleep. I am not one of those people. I am the kind that replays everything that has ever happened in her life just before it’s time to close her eyes. So to sit and watch the snow fall, it was like erasing my mind for a bit.

No amount of meditations or ASMR videos on YouTube could do what a half hour of watching the snow the other morning did for me. A complete clearing of the mind. A reset if you will. Now I just need it to snow every day…or have Fall leaves falling from the trees. I’ll take either. (Although I’ll always like Fall best.)

And that is where I will leave you for today. Thanks for putting up with me as always and I apologize again for skipping more than a week of posting. I’m still here and still trying to entertain, well, I hope I’m entertaining! Hate to think I’ve lost my touch!! 🙂

Until next time…cheers!!!

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