books

Absence and a Message Sent

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Photo credit: ioanamtc on Pixabay

Hey guys, welcome back! Here we are, the final week of August and today is Starbucks PSL launch day…my happy season hath begun! However, life deals the good and the bad and lately it’s been a roller coaster. Lots of crazy stuff going on these days. And still, no writing.

If you are new here, welcome! Quick backstory, I have written two novels, both in deep edits. For the last year and a half, I have been working hard on one that I want to get out first and over that time, I’ve only missed working on the manuscript for maybe a day or two here and there. I’m now going on weeks since I’ve touched it and in some ways, it has made me feel like a failure.

I was fully planning on opening it up this morning to work on it and while rereading a book I love, Beach Read by Emily Henry, I read passage that was like a freaking beacon reminding me just why I love to write.

If you are unfamiliar with the book in question, it’s about two writers who are blocked and make a bet. Each must write a book in the other’s genre. They do research trips, get to know each other and being a romance, well, things happen. However, for me, it’s the dynamic of them being writers that draws me in every time I read this. (Annual Summer book.) Reading about their struggle of staring at the blank page before them, losing their spark, their motivation and then remembering just why they love what they do, gives me the inspiration to keep going.

This is the passage: “The nights spent writing until the sun came up and my back hurt from needing to pee but not wanting to stop working because nothing felt more important than the book, than giving these fictional lovers the ending they deserved, giving my readers the ending they deserved.”

Reading this book at this particular time was like getting the sign I needed to keep going. I’ve worked too damned hard to stop…not that I ever would completely. I believe in this story so much that nothing will stop me from finishing it. But maybe this step back that I’ve taken will let me look at it now with fresher eyes than I’ve had. After all, when you are reading the same thing over and over for a year+ it can become almost like white noise for your senses. Not having even opened it in a month? Maybe this is just what I needed. A sort of refresh.

During the time off of writing and editing the book, I have come up with some new ideas that may tighten up the storyline a bit. What I’ve needed though is to sit and actually write them out. Instead, I have been doing everything but that. There is a line in my book that I wrote: Show me a writer and I’ll show you a professional procrastinator. 

Oh how true that is.

So while not writing I’ve been creating more designs for my online shops. I’ve added more pieces to my eBay listings, I’ve scrubbed the bathroom until I could see myself in the tile. I’ve also started to work out a little and that has been great for working off the stress and anger that has been coursing through me.

Now, it is time to write. To get back to my true love. My purpose. What I have always wanted to do. And maybe, just maybe, the timing of rereading this book was the final message that I needed to get going again. The final push.

Anyway, I hope you got something out of this, whether you write or not, motivation is motivation. Maybe you have been feeling a little lost as well and have been looking for some sign to get going? I hope this was it. I hope this helped.

And that is where I will leave you for today. Until next time folks…be well and get yourself a PSL. Tis the season after all!

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To follow me on social, including my #booktok, Amazon storefront (where you will find Beach Read and other Emily Henry books) as well as my other links, click: HERE

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To find my other shops, click: HERE

(If you click there and scroll down to ‘stuffwefind’ click that for my eBay listings.)

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If you’ve made it this far, I thank you and will see you soon! 🙂

Summer Fog – Reminiscing – Looking Forward

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Photo credit: stafichukanatoly on Pixabay

Hey guys, welcome back! I know, I know, it’s been a while. (Good song.) The Summer fog has taken hold and I have been less than motivated to write anything…and I mean, anything.

Besides missing out on the fun here, I haven’t even touched my manuscript in several weeks. This has never happened before. I’ve gone a day or two to regroup, but I haven’t so much as opened it up and looked at it in quite a while. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not done. Not by a long shot. I’ve even been coming up with some story ideas that can get me from cover to cover while being able to delete a bunch of things and get my word count under control, it’s the sitting down to do it that gets me stuck.

I’ve mentioned here several times that I am not a Summer person. The heat gets to me, the humidity messes with my breathing (and my hair), all things that don’t exactly inspire motivation. Funny thing is though, these last weeks, physically I’ve been feeling better. I’ve lost weight, I’ve started moving a little more and yet, the brain fog continues. It’s like I can’t concentrate on anything except reading. I just want to sleep. A lot. So I have been. I had just come off of a long insomnia period, something I get a few times a year and making up for it in spades. I’ve finally talked myself into sleeping whenever it hits me. Like most people, I try to push myself to stay awake to get things done. But how good is that if it feels like you are going through life sleepwalking? Besides, my most recent health setback hit a year ago this week. If I push myself too much, it will just hit all over again and I refuse to lose another year of my life. So I rest when I need to rest…as should you. Listen to what your body is telling you, trust me on this one. The rest will even itself out and soon I’ll be back to my regular OCD schedule of doing the same thing day after day, something that most may consider boring but I consider almost soothing in a way. It’s what makes me, me.

Anywhoo, onto other things…

These dog days of the season have me reminiscing a lot. For me, it’s a kind of milestone time as it was twenty years ago this year that I met the group of friends I have now and my life was never the same.

Our group here in CT is the most international mix of people I have ever been with in my life. We have French, Dutch, Danish, Asian, Czech, Hispanic, tons of Irish among others. Less than a handful of folks are actually from Connecticut. I’m not originally from here myself, but I have now lived here for 32 years, longer than anywhere else in my lifetime and I now consider my city my home town.

I don’t know about you, but one way I relive memories is through music. Lately, I’ve been listening to a lot of old playlists and with every song I’m thrown back in time like I’m still there. I can picture being on the dance floor on a Friday night or staying after hours at the bar with the late night crew making up our own drinks. Seeing each other every day. Talking for hours about nothing and everything all at the same time. Heading down to Yankee Stadium or to a concert together and getting silly on the way to and from the venues. Sunday brunches and dart games and laughing until we had tears in our eyes and our stomachs hurt.

Since those days we’ve seen couples meet, get married, have kids. Some of those kids are now in high school dreaming of their own futures and still not knowing what their parents were like back in the day. I have graciously offered not to tell them as long as I’m paid handsomely by their parents. I mean, what are friends for, right? 🙂

We may not see each other every day or hell, even every month or year anymore but knowing they are still there means everything. I dubbed them my second family a long time ago and I mean it every time I say it. We know that whether a few blocks away or several states away, we can still drop a text or DM and they will be on the other end. If there is an emergency, we know who to call. They are never far from my heart, head or occasionally, my back deck. They found me when I was in my mid thirties and through them, I found myself. Twenty years later, I still owe them for that. 

While looking back is always fun, looking forward to the unknown can be scary. It can also be exciting. Case in point, FALL IS ALMOST HERE! Yes, I am excited. My favorite time of the year is almost upon us and as I missed it all last year, I refuse, REFUSE to miss out this year. At least that’s what my mind is telling me.

I get such a rush from the cooler temps, the changing leaves, all the pumpkin spice lattes and goodies that come out every year. I breathe better, I think better and here’s hoping that this year I move better. We all have that time of the year that speaks to us. For me, it’s from September 1st through New Year’s Eve. After that, you can have the rest of it. Ok, so I’ve been enjoying Spring a little more, but the ‘Ber months? That’s when I feel alive and that is something to look forward to!

And that my dear friends, is where I will leave you for today. I hope that you too have something to look forward to and that maybe you got a little something out of this post.

Thank you for continuing to follow me here, even though I drop the ball every now and then. But hey, I always come back and when I do, I hope that you get something, even a little something, out of what I post here.

Until next time folks…Cheers!

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To find my links including my Amazon storefront, shops and socials (including my #booktok) click: HERE

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I am doing the Read Every Day Challenge in August for the American Cancer Society. If you’d like to make a donation, you can click HERE (thank you!)

To listen to Staind’s “It’s Been a While” click: HERE

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If you’ve gotten this far, thank you so much and I’ll see you soon! 🙂

Book Bandwagon – Lessons Learned – Christmas in July

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Hey guys, welcome back! I know, I know, I’ve been MIA again. The days are getting away from me lately and while I’ve been super productive in some ways, I’ve been neglectful in others. And for that…I apologize.

So let’s get right to it, shall we? 

It’s Christmas in July week and yes, I am one of those people who loves to celebrate it. I read holiday themed books, have some cocoa and of course wear Christmas pjs. (Although, I live in those year round but I still think they are ‘special’ during times such as this.)

I have a huge pile of Christmas themed books that I’ve both read and are on my TBR list. The ones I’ve read, I recommend and a couple have stuck with me, long after I’ve read them. I have them up in my Amazon storefront and will post the link below this post if you’d like to check any out. Just note, some have spice, some don’t. You have been warned. 🙂

As for my TBR list, (‘to be read’ for those who don’t know the acronym) I’ve been saving a couple for just such an occasion. One in particular, I’ve seen everywhere. It’s big on #booktok and I’ll admit, I jumped on the bandwagon to buy it and it’s sequel for last Christmas season. I never got to them though so I thought I’d save them for July. While I’m not usually one to be so highly influenced by trends, I have found some great reads through #booktok as well as my Facebook algorithm. Go figure, right?

So there I am, pulling out the Christmas books for the week and ready to dive on in. I couldn’t wait for this first one and yet, within the first two pages, I wanted to scream. This book lost me in the prologue! I have never had that happen before.

So I push through. Deciding to at least get to know the main characters, right? Well, I hated them instantly. Not one redeeming quality among them all. Just an example, the matriarch of the family needs help after hurting herself. Part of the family won’t come because they have a timeshare in the Caribbean and are in the canasta tournament. So they call their daughters to drop everything, including their careers, fly to another part of the country to take care of their relative. That is where the whining, um, complaining from the daughters begins and lasts through several chapters. I gave it my all for five chapters before throwing in the towel. I’ve never read a book that tries so hard to be something and failed so miserably. I also found myself yelling at the editors in my head.

While I normally don’t read reviews, (movies and tv included) because I like to be my own judge of something, I just had to go in and see if others caught what I did. Thankfully, I was not alone in any of my thoughts on this book. The first five chapters could have been two. Literally. Every detail of every aspect of life was described here and there was no reason for it. I don’t need to know how a reindeer feeder keeps the feed fresh. Just say, “I filled up their trough and was on my way.’ Instead, we get step by step details of the thing that took up an entire paragraph.

Also, I was quite put off at the ageism in this book. They made a woman in her fifties seem feeble and a woman in her eighties like she should be put out to pasture. Now, that could just be me as I was already hating on this book, but I still didn’t appreciate it. The fact that I’m in my 50’s may have played a role in that as well. Just sayin’.

Now, if you’ve been following along with my own writing journey here, you know that I am in the process of editing my own manuscript. That my own writing has been more than wordy, (like this post) and that I’m in the process of cutting down thousands of words to get my book to where I can submit it to a publisher. If anything, this book I just tried to read was a freaking wake up call of what NOT to do. How I can rework some things in my own book to cut even more words from it and keep my future readers from thinking what I did with this one, “what the hell were they thinking letting this get published?”

The ultimate irony of all of this is? The publisher in question here, is the one I’m hoping upon hope to submit my book to. I’ve read so many others from them and have honestly loved each one. Not every book is for every person and this current one is just not for me. However, that will not stop me from reading more from them. It may stop me from reading more from this particular author though.

I don’t relish talking about another writer this way. After all, I certainly wouldn’t like these things being said about me. But this is why I don’t leave bad reviews, post something about it on TikTok and mention the title or author by name. Just because I don’t like something doesn’t mean others won’t as well. Plus, I know the hard work it takes to get their work out there and I fully respect the process.

This is the second time in a year I’ve tried to read a popular author and just did not like the work. I know I’m in the minority here on both. Hell, one is being turned into a streaming series and I couldn’t get past chapter two of that one!

I think the point here is that we are all influenced in some ways about things in our lives. Be it clothes, decor, cars, hell even food. I mean, here in my area we have pizza wars…it’s quite a time to be alive. I am always up for suggestions for books to read and have found a lot of great authors by listening to those suggestions. Like anything, it’s hit and miss. Not everything is going to be a winner. The main thing is, I tried, right? I mean, this particular author is famous for a reason. Maybe I shouldn’t judge by this one book and maybe in the future I’ll try one of her works again. In the meantime, I have a lot more in my TBR pile to get through and I’m ready to move on to the next one…a little sooner than expected.

Again, I do have lots of fun holiday book recommendations (ironic I know) in my storefront and while I’m not trying to influence you, I’m just sharing what I’ve enjoyed reading in the past.

And that is where I’ll leave you for today. Until next time folks…cheers!

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To follow me on social, including #booktok as well as see my other links, click: HERE

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Link to my Amazon storefront below and if you’ve made it this far, I thank you for it.

You can click the image above or click HERE to get to my Amazon storefront.

My Own Worst Enemy & Heat

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Photo credit: Me! 🙂

Hey guys, welcome back! Hope everyone is doing well and if you are dealing with hot weather like we are, hope you are finding ways to stay cool. It seems so damned early for such temperatures, but these days, who knows what kind of weather we’ll have day to day. Especially here.. The old saying of, “welcome to the Northeast, don’t like the weather, wait five minutes” exists for a reason. Personally, I’d be happy for some snow right about now. (I am not a summer person at all.)

Anywhoooooo…it’s been a minute since I’ve been here and I’m sorry about that. I have been working on my edits and some rewrites, dealing with the weather and trying to do what I can to keep sane. I’ve been making more progress on my book, still not enough though to declare it ready for submission anywhere but progress is progress.

I’ve finally realized that even if I only cut a handful of words during edits in a week, that is still acceptable. I’ve always been one to be visual. I want to see the proof that my work is actually amounting to something. So when I was getting incredibly discouraged that over a few nights in a row I may have only cut a word here or there, it was disheartening to say the least. I mean, why go on if I’m not getting anywhere right? Wrong.

Because inch by inch, the work has been getting done. I was really shocked when I did that last total word count of the entire book to see just how many thousands of words I had in fact cut. Doing that total breathed new life into me. Suddenly it was there where I could see it. The number of words had gone way down even though I had sworn I was in some cases, adding on to the count instead of cutting. Which frankly was true.

This past week or so, I’ve been back going over the first twenty chapters. Trying to rework them, even rewrite them in some cases, to get that number even lower while adding a bit more depth to the characters that I realize now, I hadn’t had before. That was a sobering revelation, let me tell you. There is room for more backstory and it still amazes me after working on this for well over a year now, how much more I’m seeing that can be done.

The issue I’m having with all of this right now is that I am my own worst enemy. I have no tolerance for authority, never have. (Which explains the trouble I got into in school.) So for me to now defy myself? So unacceptable!

I know what needs to be done. I can see it in my mind how I need to rearrange some chapters, write new scenes, cut a shit-ton of words and all of that…but the part of me that hates to be told to do anything? Shutting down. I’d love to blame it on the weather but really, it’s an internal struggle and one that I cannot escape from.

If I’m going to make this something worth reading after all of this time, I need to buckle up and get it done. Even if it is just word by word. Because again, progress is progress and once I start on it, it will come into focus and get done. It’s just getting it started that always trips me up. However, this time, I have only myself to answer to. No blaming it on a boss or a teacher, no. This time? It’s all me. And I refuse to let myself down on this. I’ve come too far, done too much work and am honestly in love with these characters so much, that I don’t want to let them down either.

Progress is progress. Word by word, inch by inch. No matter what the job is, it is a universal problem that can be fixed with just three words: Just Get Started

Oh, one quick thing before I go…I will have my Amazon storefront ready for Prime Days but you can always shop the links I have on this site whenever you need something. Even if it’s not something I have linked to, just by clicking the link and heading to Amazon, anything you buy will help out this site. (I thank you in advance for that.)

And that is where I will leave you for today. Until next time…keep cool, keep hydrated, keep safe and cheers!

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If you’d like to follow me on social including my #booktok or to shop with me, click: HERE

Ps. There’s a new design up in my Dashery shop to see!

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If you’d like to help support this site more directly, you can click on the Ko-fi logo or head to my Ko-fi page: HERE

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If you’ve made it this far, I thank you and will see you real soon! 🙂

Right Book Right Time – Social Anxiety

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Photo credit: asundermeir on Pixabay.

Hey guys, welcome back! I hope everyone out there is doing well, doing some things that make you happy and just doing you. I am very happy to say that I’ve gotten back to my old routine and the two weeks of ‘floating’ have gone away. I’m now back to my rather OCD, Groundhog Day existence and really happy about it.

It’s funny, I used to be one of the most social people out there. For many years, I was out, every day/night, enjoying my friends and was always excited to get up knowing I’d be with them soon. I was also the one that organized many of the parties and reunions (I also did that as a job so I got damned good at it) and the best thing said to me by a friend after he flew in for one of our yearly get togethers? “I would never miss one of your parties!” If I haven’t said it lately, my friends are the best.

Things have changed, a lot. Since I got sick almost ten years ago now, I have trouble with being outside of the house. And since my recent relapse that started in August? I have gotten much worse.

I dread leaving my home. It’s not that I don’t want to see people I care about, I do. It just takes a lot of pep talks to get me out the door. I will lose sleep for days before I have to be somewhere, including doctors appointments. I’m not proud of this because I need to go, but I have been known to cancel an appointment because I stress out so much about being out in public.

Last week I had two days of testing. One was a reschedule because I had canceled the week before. I HAD to get these tests done. I had to. So I made the appointments close together, got my ass out the door and did what I had to do. I barely slept all week, but I got it done.

The thing about this is, once I’m out, I’m ok. I will chat up the uber drivers, the receptionists or if at a gathering, I will enjoy the hell out of myself reconnecting with friends and extended family. It’s the getting out the door part that is the issue. I break out into a sweat, breathe worse than I normally do and try to come up with excuses of why I can’t leave. And not just that…I’ve been getting worse with responding to texts, DMs and emails. I just freeze up and this is so unlike me in so many ways. (My friends can definitely attest to this.)

Yes, I have been on anti anxiety meds in the past. Unfortunately they put about 50lbs on me and when you are under five feet tall? Well, let’s just say, I looked like an Oompa Loompa…or more like Augustus Gloop. You know, the kid that fell in the chocolate river and got stuck in the pipe? Yeah, that was me.

Anywhoo, I’m really trying to work on it. Not that I can do anything right now the way my health has been, I’m pretty much stuck here. But with the warmer weather comes more local gatherings and I’d really like to be a part of them again. I’ve missed going to little league games. Yelling and cheering in the stands while laughing with the parents. I’ve had plans for a 20th reunion of my friends in the works for a bit and even though I’ll be putting it together, it would be wrong of me not to show up! These are just the things that plague me daily and again, I am trying to work on it all. I think the fact that I can’t do anything right now has just gotten the best of me and once this passes (and it will pass, I will accept nothing less) I’ll be right back out there. My anxiety waves have come and gone before and I have no doubt that this one will as well.

Anyway, enough of this therapy session, let’s get on with something else now, shall we?

I said earlier in this post that I’ve gotten back into my routine. This has been so good for me as any deviation from it? I spiral. So getting back to my editing as well as reading is so important to me and I’ve been doing better with it.

The one thing about working on my own manuscript is that I keep getting discouraged. I had wanted this book to be a romcom but it’s taken on a more serious turn. Don’t get me wrong, there’s funny aspects of it, but just like life, it can’t all be funny.

I had a bit of a lightbulb moment just last night while reading the second book of a series I started last month. These books are so damned funny, I’ve had nights where I was afraid I’d wake up my neighbors laughing. However, this second book took a very dramatic turn that made me finally realize that yes, you can marry the dark with the light.

I came damned close to chucking half of my book. Just deleting it outright to change the direction to be more comedic. But as I’ve said in previous posts, this story that I’m writing also deals with issues that I feel need to be discussed and deleting that storyline would kill me.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still so over my word count that a ton still needs to go. However deleting the drama to get to the laughs isn’t what this book needs. I still plan on writing a total romantic comedy after this. I will never let that dream die. But this is the story that I need to tell now and I can’t see myself deleting it after working on it for a year. So onward I go.

I’ve seen a quote many times that fits so well here: “Sometimes the right book comes to you at the right time.” How true this is. If it wasn’t for reading the one I’m reading now, I would have made a major mistake and now I can see where I need to go with my own book. There really is such a thing as an ‘a-ha moment!’ Go figure.

And that folks, is where I will leave you for today. Thank you as always for putting up with my ramblings. To anyone I owe messages to, I hope this explains my mindset lately and I’m sorry if I’ve been distant.

Also, I’d like to take a second to thank those who have supported my site through my Ko-fi link as well as shopping through my Amazon affiliate links. I’ll be putting together my storefront soon with recommended books and items that I hope you’ll check out and will keep you updated when it goes live.

Until next time…cheers!

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To follow me on socials, shop my links and more, click: HERE

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If you’d like to check out the Lucy Score Story Lake series I’ve been reading, click: HERE

Note: There’s two books now but a third will be out next year. Romcoms with a touch of drama and a touch of spice. I’ve become a huge fan of hers and this is now the fourth that has had me laughing and escaping.

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If you’ve made it this far, I thank you and will see you soon! 🙂