motivation

Big Storms – Been Sick – Hold Onto The Happy

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Photo credit: Me! 🙂

Hey guys, welcome back. I know, I know, it’s been a minute since I’ve been here. If it makes any difference, I hate that I’ve been so inconsistent with my posts. However, it’s been a time and I’m back!

We’ve been having some brutal storms here in the northeast, the most recent being the seemingly never ending Nor’easter we just went through over this past weekend. Just two weeks before that, we had almost 8” of rain in a matter of hours after having almost that much just two weeks before that. Living in a coastal town, our city ended up under a lot of water…thankfully, as opposed to many others, I live on top of a hill and we fared well through it all. (Although the wind this past weekend nailed us pretty hard.) 

Having said that however, it is my favorite time of the year and frankly, I love a good storm. Not that I like the damage they cause of course. But I’m one for sitting in the quiet, listening to the wind and rain rattling the windows while I sit inside with a hot beverage and a good book. Fall feeds my soul. Add in a storm? And I’m in a good place.

(Also, we have VERY loud kids who live in our complex that do nothing but let out high pitch screams for hours and after a Summer full of that, having them have to stay inside because of the storms was a nice break.)

Unfortunately, I’ve also been sick. Even coming off antibiotics, I’m very much still not right and haven’t been motivated to do much. All I want to do is sleep. Although I’m back in a nice rhythm with edits again and have been reading a rather excellent new book, I literally fell asleep with my hands on the keyboard last night. I didn’t remember doing it and woke up in a cold sweat of panic that I deleted chapters by accident. (I didn’t, but it woke my ass up that’s for sure!)

It’s discouraging because I had been doing well. I was walking so much better, working out almost daily again and just gearing up for my favorite time of the year. Then I pushed myself too hard one day and haven’t been right since. Walking is so damned hard. I thought I had Covid, but thankfully tested negative even though every symptom is there. Went on two rounds of antibiotics and still, I feel like hell.

With no discernible immune system, I can’t just get the sniffles. I get sinus infections that lead to bronchitis that in the past has led to pneumonia and 10 years ago, led to me on crutches barely able to hold myself up. I get sick every Fall like it’s on the calendar of public holidays.

I was talking about this earlier. Someone once asked me, ‘if your favorite time of the year is September to New Year’s Eve, but you get sick every year during this time, why is it still your favorite?’ I mean, I get the question. Logically, there should be no reason for it. I should dread this time of the year knowing what’s coming. But Fall? Is my soul season. (So much so, I made a design out of that phrase for one of my shops.)

The leaves changing, the crisp air, NO HUMIDITY OR MOSQUITOS, looking forward to the holiday ads…every little thing to come just gives me a happiness I don’t have the rest of the year. So sure, I may end up in bed and looking at the goodness outside through a window. However, watching my trees change color has me taking deeper breaths of relief. Living in hoodies and snuggling down under blankets have me sleeping deeper. I smile more. And what is so wrong about that? Nothing.

We all have those things that make us do that. Smile. These days, we need to hold on to those things even more. Hold on to the smiles. Hold on to the happy. Hold on to the little things that give us the breaks from the stresses of life.

Do I worry about my health? Of course I do! I’ve been dealing with so much over the last 10 years not to. And now I’m in a panic over possibly losing my insurance when the new year comes. Something, I cannot afford to lose with my situation.

So let me see some bright orange, red and yellow leaves. Let me see the silly M&M Halloween commercials. Let me spot the super early holiday ads promoting new light displays and trees. Because these simple things are not only fun to do every year but hey, they’re free! And when they say money can’t buy happiness? While ok, I can’t fully agree with that, as money can buy books…but there’s so much to see and do this time of the year that IS free and creates a happiness not found at any other time of the year.

I have a line in my manuscript that resonates so much here and is so, so true: “Happiness doesn’t come along that often my friend, grab it while you can.”

And that is where I will leave you for today. As always, I hope you got something out of this post and I thank you so much for hanging in there with me. Consistent posting or not, I promise to keep coming back and hope you will as well.

Until next time friends…Cheers!

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If you’d like to follow my socials including #booktok click: HERE

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If you’d like to check out my shops with lots of my own designs on lots of items, including seasonal, (Halloween, Christmas and more) as well as everyday fun stuff, click: HERE

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If you’ve made it this far, I thank you and will see you soon!!! 🙂

Absence and a Message Sent

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Photo credit: ioanamtc on Pixabay

Hey guys, welcome back! Here we are, the final week of August and today is Starbucks PSL launch day…my happy season hath begun! However, life deals the good and the bad and lately it’s been a roller coaster. Lots of crazy stuff going on these days. And still, no writing.

If you are new here, welcome! Quick backstory, I have written two novels, both in deep edits. For the last year and a half, I have been working hard on one that I want to get out first and over that time, I’ve only missed working on the manuscript for maybe a day or two here and there. I’m now going on weeks since I’ve touched it and in some ways, it has made me feel like a failure.

I was fully planning on opening it up this morning to work on it and while rereading a book I love, Beach Read by Emily Henry, I read passage that was like a freaking beacon reminding me just why I love to write.

If you are unfamiliar with the book in question, it’s about two writers who are blocked and make a bet. Each must write a book in the other’s genre. They do research trips, get to know each other and being a romance, well, things happen. However, for me, it’s the dynamic of them being writers that draws me in every time I read this. (Annual Summer book.) Reading about their struggle of staring at the blank page before them, losing their spark, their motivation and then remembering just why they love what they do, gives me the inspiration to keep going.

This is the passage: “The nights spent writing until the sun came up and my back hurt from needing to pee but not wanting to stop working because nothing felt more important than the book, than giving these fictional lovers the ending they deserved, giving my readers the ending they deserved.”

Reading this book at this particular time was like getting the sign I needed to keep going. I’ve worked too damned hard to stop…not that I ever would completely. I believe in this story so much that nothing will stop me from finishing it. But maybe this step back that I’ve taken will let me look at it now with fresher eyes than I’ve had. After all, when you are reading the same thing over and over for a year+ it can become almost like white noise for your senses. Not having even opened it in a month? Maybe this is just what I needed. A sort of refresh.

During the time off of writing and editing the book, I have come up with some new ideas that may tighten up the storyline a bit. What I’ve needed though is to sit and actually write them out. Instead, I have been doing everything but that. There is a line in my book that I wrote: Show me a writer and I’ll show you a professional procrastinator. 

Oh how true that is.

So while not writing I’ve been creating more designs for my online shops. I’ve added more pieces to my eBay listings, I’ve scrubbed the bathroom until I could see myself in the tile. I’ve also started to work out a little and that has been great for working off the stress and anger that has been coursing through me.

Now, it is time to write. To get back to my true love. My purpose. What I have always wanted to do. And maybe, just maybe, the timing of rereading this book was the final message that I needed to get going again. The final push.

Anyway, I hope you got something out of this, whether you write or not, motivation is motivation. Maybe you have been feeling a little lost as well and have been looking for some sign to get going? I hope this was it. I hope this helped.

And that is where I will leave you for today. Until next time folks…be well and get yourself a PSL. Tis the season after all!

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To follow me on social, including my #booktok, Amazon storefront (where you will find Beach Read and other Emily Henry books) as well as my other links, click: HERE

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To find my other shops, click: HERE

(If you click there and scroll down to ‘stuffwefind’ click that for my eBay listings.)

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If you’ve made it this far, I thank you and will see you soon! 🙂

Summer Fog – Reminiscing – Looking Forward

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Photo credit: stafichukanatoly on Pixabay

Hey guys, welcome back! I know, I know, it’s been a while. (Good song.) The Summer fog has taken hold and I have been less than motivated to write anything…and I mean, anything.

Besides missing out on the fun here, I haven’t even touched my manuscript in several weeks. This has never happened before. I’ve gone a day or two to regroup, but I haven’t so much as opened it up and looked at it in quite a while. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not done. Not by a long shot. I’ve even been coming up with some story ideas that can get me from cover to cover while being able to delete a bunch of things and get my word count under control, it’s the sitting down to do it that gets me stuck.

I’ve mentioned here several times that I am not a Summer person. The heat gets to me, the humidity messes with my breathing (and my hair), all things that don’t exactly inspire motivation. Funny thing is though, these last weeks, physically I’ve been feeling better. I’ve lost weight, I’ve started moving a little more and yet, the brain fog continues. It’s like I can’t concentrate on anything except reading. I just want to sleep. A lot. So I have been. I had just come off of a long insomnia period, something I get a few times a year and making up for it in spades. I’ve finally talked myself into sleeping whenever it hits me. Like most people, I try to push myself to stay awake to get things done. But how good is that if it feels like you are going through life sleepwalking? Besides, my most recent health setback hit a year ago this week. If I push myself too much, it will just hit all over again and I refuse to lose another year of my life. So I rest when I need to rest…as should you. Listen to what your body is telling you, trust me on this one. The rest will even itself out and soon I’ll be back to my regular OCD schedule of doing the same thing day after day, something that most may consider boring but I consider almost soothing in a way. It’s what makes me, me.

Anywhoo, onto other things…

These dog days of the season have me reminiscing a lot. For me, it’s a kind of milestone time as it was twenty years ago this year that I met the group of friends I have now and my life was never the same.

Our group here in CT is the most international mix of people I have ever been with in my life. We have French, Dutch, Danish, Asian, Czech, Hispanic, tons of Irish among others. Less than a handful of folks are actually from Connecticut. I’m not originally from here myself, but I have now lived here for 32 years, longer than anywhere else in my lifetime and I now consider my city my home town.

I don’t know about you, but one way I relive memories is through music. Lately, I’ve been listening to a lot of old playlists and with every song I’m thrown back in time like I’m still there. I can picture being on the dance floor on a Friday night or staying after hours at the bar with the late night crew making up our own drinks. Seeing each other every day. Talking for hours about nothing and everything all at the same time. Heading down to Yankee Stadium or to a concert together and getting silly on the way to and from the venues. Sunday brunches and dart games and laughing until we had tears in our eyes and our stomachs hurt.

Since those days we’ve seen couples meet, get married, have kids. Some of those kids are now in high school dreaming of their own futures and still not knowing what their parents were like back in the day. I have graciously offered not to tell them as long as I’m paid handsomely by their parents. I mean, what are friends for, right? 🙂

We may not see each other every day or hell, even every month or year anymore but knowing they are still there means everything. I dubbed them my second family a long time ago and I mean it every time I say it. We know that whether a few blocks away or several states away, we can still drop a text or DM and they will be on the other end. If there is an emergency, we know who to call. They are never far from my heart, head or occasionally, my back deck. They found me when I was in my mid thirties and through them, I found myself. Twenty years later, I still owe them for that. 

While looking back is always fun, looking forward to the unknown can be scary. It can also be exciting. Case in point, FALL IS ALMOST HERE! Yes, I am excited. My favorite time of the year is almost upon us and as I missed it all last year, I refuse, REFUSE to miss out this year. At least that’s what my mind is telling me.

I get such a rush from the cooler temps, the changing leaves, all the pumpkin spice lattes and goodies that come out every year. I breathe better, I think better and here’s hoping that this year I move better. We all have that time of the year that speaks to us. For me, it’s from September 1st through New Year’s Eve. After that, you can have the rest of it. Ok, so I’ve been enjoying Spring a little more, but the ‘Ber months? That’s when I feel alive and that is something to look forward to!

And that my dear friends, is where I will leave you for today. I hope that you too have something to look forward to and that maybe you got a little something out of this post.

Thank you for continuing to follow me here, even though I drop the ball every now and then. But hey, I always come back and when I do, I hope that you get something, even a little something, out of what I post here.

Until next time folks…Cheers!

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To find my links including my Amazon storefront, shops and socials (including my #booktok) click: HERE

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I am doing the Read Every Day Challenge in August for the American Cancer Society. If you’d like to make a donation, you can click HERE (thank you!)

To listen to Staind’s “It’s Been a While” click: HERE

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If you’ve gotten this far, thank you so much and I’ll see you soon! 🙂

One Freaking Word

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Photo credit: ??? (Sorry)

Hey guys, welcome back! I hope everyone is doing great, staying cool (or warm, depending on where you are) and of course, ready for the weekend. We here had a string of some super hot days and as I’ve been rereading a book series, I was more than happy that the one taking place during the Winter holidays had been next in line. Reading about a snowstorm while temps had hit 101 heat index? Helped my mind do a little escape from the furnace I was living in. (Have I mentioned I’m not a Summer person?)

Anywhoo…for those who may be new here? Hello! Let me give you a little background first before I get to that one freaking word my title is talking about.

I’ve been working on a book for over a year. This site has been my way of documenting my progress and my struggles. It’s also been a way to, I hope, motivate others. Not just about writing, but about life stuff in general. And yes, every now and then, I vent out some things that needs to get out of my head.

I have been working so damned hard on editing this book. My initial hope last year was that it would have been published by the holidays. HA! What a freaking pipe dream that was!

First off, my initial word count was astronomical. What needs to be in the 100,000 area, (give or take 20,000 plus or minus) was in fact, well over 400,000. I’ve since shaved off a LOT but still need to cut another 150,000 or so to get it where I need it.

In last week’s post, I talked about progress and how not every day can be a day of cutting a few hundred or thousand words. Sometimes you need to go inch by inch. Which leads us to today…

Last night, I worked for HOURS on a ten chapter block, never getting past the first three. I cut paragraphs. I rewrote my sentences. I rearranged the text. I cut some more. I reworked some more. And in the end when I went and checked the word count for the day? I was only down ONE FREAKING WORD!

I had sworn I cut hundreds. But it turns out, all that rewriting and reworking had me adding more than I cut.

Now, this is not the first time my counts have been disappointing. Far from it. In fact, the last ten chapter block? I added a few hundred words to that several times until I went back and slashed a ton of things that never should have been there. I refused to get out of those chapters until a significant number had been chopped. When I was done with it, I had cut about 250 words. Not a lot in the grand scheme of things of course, but every read through brings more cuts, so I’m not worried.

I think the reason this one word thing is bothering me so much this time, is that I really worked hard all night on this. I was so sure that I was doing well and that my count was going to be significantly lower. I was on a roll! I also consumed more sugar in those few hours than I have in a month, so be sure to factor that into my mental state as well.

It was a kick to the gut that after all that work, all that time, the progress that I had hoped to make, didn’t happen. I need to remember what I wrote here last week, about how every little bit helps. That eventually, the numbers will add up. For now, I will wallow a little then get back to it.

I think my takeaway from this particular night is this…some days, no matter how hard you try, you may only move one inch. However, that one inch? Is still one inch more than where you started. (I hope that made sense.)

And that is where I will leave you for now. Thanks for visiting, reading, sharing, shopping the links, tipping and supporting. It means a whole hell of a lot to me that you do. It really does.

Until next time folks…Cheers!

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To follow me on social, including my #booktok and shop my shops, click: HERE

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If you enjoy what I do here and would like to help support the site, you can do so by shopping any link here or head to my Ko-Fi to make a direct tip. You can click the logo on the site or head: HERE

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If you’ve made it this far? I thank you. See you soon!! 🩷

My Own Worst Enemy & Heat

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Photo credit: Me! 🙂

Hey guys, welcome back! Hope everyone is doing well and if you are dealing with hot weather like we are, hope you are finding ways to stay cool. It seems so damned early for such temperatures, but these days, who knows what kind of weather we’ll have day to day. Especially here.. The old saying of, “welcome to the Northeast, don’t like the weather, wait five minutes” exists for a reason. Personally, I’d be happy for some snow right about now. (I am not a summer person at all.)

Anywhoooooo…it’s been a minute since I’ve been here and I’m sorry about that. I have been working on my edits and some rewrites, dealing with the weather and trying to do what I can to keep sane. I’ve been making more progress on my book, still not enough though to declare it ready for submission anywhere but progress is progress.

I’ve finally realized that even if I only cut a handful of words during edits in a week, that is still acceptable. I’ve always been one to be visual. I want to see the proof that my work is actually amounting to something. So when I was getting incredibly discouraged that over a few nights in a row I may have only cut a word here or there, it was disheartening to say the least. I mean, why go on if I’m not getting anywhere right? Wrong.

Because inch by inch, the work has been getting done. I was really shocked when I did that last total word count of the entire book to see just how many thousands of words I had in fact cut. Doing that total breathed new life into me. Suddenly it was there where I could see it. The number of words had gone way down even though I had sworn I was in some cases, adding on to the count instead of cutting. Which frankly was true.

This past week or so, I’ve been back going over the first twenty chapters. Trying to rework them, even rewrite them in some cases, to get that number even lower while adding a bit more depth to the characters that I realize now, I hadn’t had before. That was a sobering revelation, let me tell you. There is room for more backstory and it still amazes me after working on this for well over a year now, how much more I’m seeing that can be done.

The issue I’m having with all of this right now is that I am my own worst enemy. I have no tolerance for authority, never have. (Which explains the trouble I got into in school.) So for me to now defy myself? So unacceptable!

I know what needs to be done. I can see it in my mind how I need to rearrange some chapters, write new scenes, cut a shit-ton of words and all of that…but the part of me that hates to be told to do anything? Shutting down. I’d love to blame it on the weather but really, it’s an internal struggle and one that I cannot escape from.

If I’m going to make this something worth reading after all of this time, I need to buckle up and get it done. Even if it is just word by word. Because again, progress is progress and once I start on it, it will come into focus and get done. It’s just getting it started that always trips me up. However, this time, I have only myself to answer to. No blaming it on a boss or a teacher, no. This time? It’s all me. And I refuse to let myself down on this. I’ve come too far, done too much work and am honestly in love with these characters so much, that I don’t want to let them down either.

Progress is progress. Word by word, inch by inch. No matter what the job is, it is a universal problem that can be fixed with just three words: Just Get Started

Oh, one quick thing before I go…I will have my Amazon storefront ready for Prime Days but you can always shop the links I have on this site whenever you need something. Even if it’s not something I have linked to, just by clicking the link and heading to Amazon, anything you buy will help out this site. (I thank you in advance for that.)

And that is where I will leave you for today. Until next time…keep cool, keep hydrated, keep safe and cheers!

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If you’d like to follow me on social including my #booktok or to shop with me, click: HERE

Ps. There’s a new design up in my Dashery shop to see!

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If you’d like to help support this site more directly, you can click on the Ko-fi logo or head to my Ko-fi page: HERE

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If you’ve made it this far, I thank you and will see you real soon! 🙂