keep going

Hey guys, welcome back! I hope everyone is doing great, staying cool (or warm, depending on where you are) and of course, ready for the weekend. We here had a string of some super hot days and as I’ve been rereading a book series, I was more than happy that the one taking place during the Winter holidays had been next in line. Reading about a snowstorm while temps had hit 101 heat index? Helped my mind do a little escape from the furnace I was living in. (Have I mentioned I’m not a Summer person?)

Anywhoo…for those who may be new here? Hello! Let me give you a little background first before I get to that one freaking word my title is talking about.

I’ve been working on a book for over a year. This site has been my way of documenting my progress and my struggles. It’s also been a way to, I hope, motivate others. Not just about writing, but about life stuff in general. And yes, every now and then, I vent out some things that needs to get out of my head.

I have been working so damned hard on editing this book. My initial hope last year was that it would have been published by the holidays. HA! What a freaking pipe dream that was!

First off, my initial word count was astronomical. What needs to be in the 100,000 area, (give or take 20,000 plus or minus) was in fact, well over 400,000. I’ve since shaved off a LOT but still need to cut another 150,000 or so to get it where I need it.

In last week’s post, I talked about progress and how not every day can be a day of cutting a few hundred or thousand words. Sometimes you need to go inch by inch. Which leads us to today…

Last night, I worked for HOURS on a ten chapter block, never getting past the first three. I cut paragraphs. I rewrote my sentences. I rearranged the text. I cut some more. I reworked some more. And in the end when I went and checked the word count for the day? I was only down ONE FREAKING WORD!

I had sworn I cut hundreds. But it turns out, all that rewriting and reworking had me adding more than I cut.

Now, this is not the first time my counts have been disappointing. Far from it. In fact, the last ten chapter block? I added a few hundred words to that several times until I went back and slashed a ton of things that never should have been there. I refused to get out of those chapters until a significant number had been chopped. When I was done with it, I had cut about 250 words. Not a lot in the grand scheme of things of course, but every read through brings more cuts, so I’m not worried.

I think the reason this one word thing is bothering me so much this time, is that I really worked hard all night on this. I was so sure that I was doing well and that my count was going to be significantly lower. I was on a roll! I also consumed more sugar in those few hours than I have in a month, so be sure to factor that into my mental state as well.

It was a kick to the gut that after all that work, all that time, the progress that I had hoped to make, didn’t happen. I need to remember what I wrote here last week, about how every little bit helps. That eventually, the numbers will add up. For now, I will wallow a little then get back to it.

I think my takeaway from this particular night is this…some days, no matter how hard you try, you may only move one inch. However, that one inch? Is still one inch more than where you started. (I hope that made sense.)

And that is where I will leave you for now. Thanks for visiting, reading, sharing, shopping the links, tipping and supporting. It means a whole hell of a lot to me that you do. It really does.

Until next time folks…Cheers!

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If you’ve made it this far? I thank you. See you soon!! 🩷

Hi all and welcome to a new week! I had planned on posting this a little earlier today but I lost the Bluetooth connection to my keyboard and freaked out for a bit. Thanks to this internet thing, I found the manual and all is right with the world again. Silly issue? Possibly, but since I use this thing constantly, yes, an absolute panic was had for a good 45 minutes.

But I digress…

I have been really churning out the pages on this new story I came up with last week. In a matter of about four days, I’ve typed over 20,000 words over several chapters and this morning, my brain decided that wasn’t enough. Just as I was going to sleep, I came up with a scene that I needed to jot down fast or I’d lose it. (With no short term memory, having a note pad next to my bed is vital for times like this.) The funny thing is, I was giving my fingers a bit of a break yesterday by refraining from any typing and yet, when I went to write down these scene ideas, I ended up handwriting 9 pages in my happy new notebook. At this rate, I’ll be needing a new one every other day!

Having a brainstorming session with myself is surreal. I don’t know if anyone else goes through this, ok, I’m almost positive you all do…but when I get an idea I have to get it out. Clear the mind so I can move on. This is how this new book started in the first place! As I’ve mentioned previously, I was working on the sequel to my first novel (while editing that one) and an idea struck me. When this happens, everything else gets put on hold until I can get the idea out of my head. Once I get a lull or something strikes me for my original plan, I can abandon what I’m currently working on. I don’t know if any of that makes sense but it sounded good in my head!

However, this current story is really exciting me. It’s like nothing else I’ve written and I wanted to see if I could write in this genre. I love challenging myself. I really do. I find I do it a lot with life stuff and medical stuff. Getting me into an MRI took some doing now it’s just like, ‘ok, let’s get this over with’. Yet a challenge means so much more when I think I can’t do something. Or, I see someone else truly succeeding in something and wonder if I could do it so I decide to try it out. It’s challenging me for me. It doesn’t have to mean prizes at the end, or ribbons or cash rewards (although that would really come in handy right about now) but just being able to try it out and then finishing it? That to me is the prize.

When I wrote my first book, it took years to complete. Mostly because of medical issues. I had to keep stopping and heal up before I could write again. I was frustrated because I had written the first six chapters in less than a week and I thought it was going so well. Then I’d hit a health setback and it would be months before I could pick it up again. By then, I’d have to reread what I had written to remember the story lines, the details, hell even the character names! This cycle went on for quite some time but when I finished it and printed it out? I cried. I really did. Because I was so determined to finish it. Even if I didn’t get it published, I was so happy I completed it. (Of course it is getting published, are you crazy?)

I know I tend to repeat myself on this blog and I apologize for that. I used to think I was doing it so folks new here could catch up, but you know what? Sometimes I feel the messages need to be repeated. So here is my message for today…It is OK to challenge yourself! It is ok to put down a goal and strive for it even if no one else knows that’s what you are doing. Other people don’t need to know everything about you, no matter what social media claims. You can actually go out for dinner without posting pics! (Really, you can!) And just like that, you can write that book or that song. You can paint that canvas and try to get it in a show. You can learn a new language, instrument or skill. You can run that marathon or 5k. Whatever it is that means something to YOU, go for it!

The year before I got sick, I worked my ass off training for a 5k. I found a list of upcoming events in my area and found one that was still several months away. I had never participated in a race like this so I didn’t want to make an ass of myself doing it. And I certainly wasn’t up to doing a full or even half a marathon. I was never a runner and I was going to walk it, but I wanted to cut my time per mile down. I was always a big walker. Walked 15-20 miles a week minimum. But for a race? A leisurely stroll wasn’t going to cut it. So I started literally in my bedroom. It was still cold outside, so I’d walk in place (no treadmill) with my step counter and pick up the pace until I could do two miles under a certain time. As the weather warmed up, I would go next door to the elementary school and use their parking lot for laps. I had a playlist that kept a great pace and I walked every single day for all those months cutting my times bit by bit until it was race time. I was using old sneakers with almost no padding and I hurt my knee during training. This came back to bite me in the ass as about 30 seconds into the actual race, my knee flared up and I still wouldn’t let it stop me. Not after months of prepping for it!

When I first started my quest, I was over 21 minutes a mile and by race time, I clocked under 15:30. I was so damned proud of myself! I couldn’t believe it! I finished the race. I didn’t win, I didn’t even come in 20th. I was one of the last people to cross the finish line (but not the last so hey, personal win) and I wanted to scream out ‘I DID IT!!!’

I had only my mother there to cheer me on which was great and she proceeded to yell and scream as I walked past her, (I pretended I couldn’t hear her over my earbuds, but I think they could hear her in the next town over lol) and it was great.

Because I had only told a few what I was doing, sure I was hurt that I didn’t have more folks there cheering me on. Plus, I had one friend call it my “little walk thing” as in, “oh your little walk thing was today?” Which, I’m not gonna lie, still stings today. I mean obviously that’s why I mentioned it. But that’s ok. Because I wasn’t out to challenge anyone else. THAT’S the point. I wanted to challenge MYSELF. To see if I could do it and I did! So now that that particular bucket list item has been checked off, I went to the next one and then the one after that.

Now that I’m a little older, I can look back on my life and see that I really have checked off a whole lot on my list. Sure there’s always more stuff I’m adding to it, but adding them up in my head now? I’ve done a whole lot and I’m proud of myself for doing it. For TRYING. Did I always succeed? Hellllll no. But I tried and I hope you do too.

So that is your message for this week. Keep trying. Even if what you write sucks. Even if your painting is a splotch. Even if the song you write may never get into the rock and roll hal of fame, it’s ok!!! Keep trying. Keep motivated. Keep creating. It’s ok.

And that is where I am leaving you tonight!

Thanks as always for putting up with the rambles and until next time…

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