Hey guys, welcome back! As I sit here thinking of something to write, I’m also thinking how thankful I am to have you all to write for. I’ve been so lucky to have an audience for my posts, my ramblings, my writing journey. When I was writing my first book, I didn’t do this. It took me years to finish that first draft. It is taking even longer to edit it. But this current work in progress, well, this has been a mission. This has been my baby and I’m so glad I am documenting this ride of mine. I’ve heard from other authors that they are going through similar situations as mine and I’m so glad I’m not alone.

For example, I’m currently stuck. Like really stuck. I was getting close to writing the last chapters of this book. Then I stalled. Not just because a part of me doesn’t want this story to end, but because I thought of a whole new way to tell it!

So ok, I go back to the beginning again, I wrote an alternate first chapter. I liked it a lot and it gave me more ideas. What’s wrong with this? Plenty.

Although the amount of work it would take to rewrite the story again from another perspective is daunting, it would also lend more depth to it as a whole so there’s that. Also, my current word count is huge. Like, huge. The editing process for this book is going to be massive and is going to kill me to cut as much as I need to.

I have read and reread this work so many times, it is how I want it to be right now. Well, that’s at this current moment. It changes minute to minute. I think it’s because I don’t want to finish it just yet and am looking for excuses to postpone the last chapters. I’ll snap out of it of course, but in the meantime, I’m torn…I’m…stuck.

Do I go back and add to this and offer two perspectives or do I just go in and edit what I already have? I keep going back and forth on the best way to proceed and in the process, I just keep reading it over and over again. So, I continue to be stuck.

I’m hoping the answer will come to me between the lines. That there will be something that jumps out at me to say “this is it!” So far, nothing. The back and forth continues and then I write the other perspective. If I continue doing that, then it’s even more words I’ll have to cut.

I mentioned in my last post that I did some editing work in my past. I know I can be brutal when I have to be when reworking sentences, paragraphs, chapters. But that is with someone else’s work. With my own? Let’s just say that I don’t take criticism very well, even my own. When I wrote for others and something of mine needed to be edited? I didn’t take it well at all. Just the idea of someone else hacking up my work gives me a stomach ache. But seriously the word count? Massive. So the hacking must be done.

Also, the amount of research going into this book has been a big part of this journey. Not just for the story itself, but also for the work. Learning about querying agents, traditional publishing vs. self publishing, learning from other authors and bouncing ideas off of them and of course, word counts. I’ve been looking at other books in the same genre that I love to see what their counts are. Chapter length, page count, all of it. This is going to be the first book of mine that I want to get out there and it needs to reflect my best work. I want to get it right. I think this is one of the reasons I’ve been freaking out about all of this and will continue to do so until I can finally say, “hey! My first draft is done!” Until then, I shall remain stuck.

I wish this was more uplifting, a little more motivational, but not every day can be like that. Some days, the reality sets in and we have to sit back and take a breath. Take a moment to reflect on what we are doing and if we are doing it the right way. Look at it from a fresh perspective and hope that when we complete what we have started, it is right with us. I will forever be proud of what I have written, which is why the idea of cutting so much is killing me. However, to get this out there to the readers? I will do what is needed to put out my best work possible. (Did I turn this post around at all? I hope so!)

And that is where I will leave you for today. Thanks so much again for being here, for reading my blog and for your support. For without you, I wouldn’t be here.

Until next time…Cheers!

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