Holidays – Stress – Holiday Spirit

Photo credit: JillWellington on Pixabay

Hey guys, welcome back! I hope everyone is doing well and I want to say a giant thank you for continuing to come back and see what I’ve been up to. While it’s never anything too exciting, hopefully I’ve been doing something right here.😉

 I don’t know about you, but the holiday season is making me lose my mind. Trying to work on the book has been interesting during this last week. I’ll be in the middle of a paragraph and suddenly remember I forgot to order something for Christmas. Then of course, the Amazonian doom scrolling happens and two hours later, (and after adding lots of stuff I’d like to get after Christmas to my save for later), I go back to the book, forgetting what I was doing.

However, one of the good things about this time of the year, is that I know I’m not alone. No matter what you are celebrating, or not celebrating, the end of the year brings about high blood pressure all around.

Being a one to strictly celebrate in a secular manner, I’m usually a total goofball around Christmastime. I watch all the specials (all hail Rankin/Bass), tv episodes with holiday themes and movies, (no hallmark, come on). I love to check out the holiday lights and LOVE to shop for gifts. This year has been tough for me to get into the spirit of the season, especially being in bed almost 24/7, however I’ve been working on it. Hell, even the year I had chicken pox as a kid, I was all about the holiday!

Many years ago, when I was still learning the internet and how to create a webpage, I created a Christmas website. It started as one page for kids and ballooned to something that to this day, I’m still proud of. I was completely self taught. I learned how to code it, design graphics for it including those for the two advent calendars, became an early affiliate (which was so new back then) and was even listed on top 50 sites around the globe. While several things had to be taken off as time wore on and some old links no longer worked, I still updated it last year and made sure to keep it going. I’ll link it under this post if you’d like to visit Eggboy’s Christmas Celebration…just please remember, it was created in the late 90’s and the graphics are as such.

One thing that’s been helping me get in the holiday mood are the old school gems I’ve found on YouTube. Retro specials and old holiday tv ads that I used to look forward to every year. I’ve started to watch those and the memories have come flooding back. I’ve also been watching more shows and stuff and with just days to spare, the spirit is seeping in. Oh and of course, I have a stack of holiday themed romance books next to me that I’ve been working though and will continue to read them well past the holiday season to keep me in the spirit a bit longer.

The next days will be filled with the usual mayhem of wrapping presents, trying to squeeze in as many silly things to watch as I can and gearing up for my favorite night of the year, Christmas Eve. No other night of the year compares for me. I keep an insanely strict schedule that night to savor every second. I do the same things every single year and even though I haven’t been a kid for quite some time, you bet your ass I’m still looking out the window every now and then to see if I spot a big guy and his sleigh. I even follow both the NORAD and Google Santa Trackers! (Because why not?)

 I’ll be missing out on some writing time this week and that’s ok. I need to clear my head a bit for the next steps. I completed the latest read through tonight and think I finally have a handle on how this book is going to move forward. I am quite upset that I am missing my self-imposed deadline for it to be finished, but I’ve finally decided that it’s ok. It was one I put on myself. I have no one to answer to right now and if I was to declare the book ‘finished’? It would be a freaking train wreck. Not only is it still entirely too long, but if I was to just cut things left and right to only focus on the word count? It wouldn’t make sense. So as much as it hurts, I’ve learned to accept that it will get done when it gets done. 

I was on a great path for it to be finished by now, but life is funny stuff. I wasn’t expecting to be sick for more than 80% of the year and the last few months have just kicked my ass. Maybe this was a way for me to slow down and look at the book as a whole. To figure out what is important to the story. To rearrange things, change the timeline and time of the year. I live by the rule that ‘things happen for a reason’ and I gotta think that maybe I was getting ahead of myself with the writing when I got sick. This slow down time, while frustrating as hell, has given me a new perspective and I can only hope that I will finish it with a much better all around story than it is right now. So am I close to being finished? No. However, that’s ok. It is what it is. Instead, it’s time to focus on the holidays and the things done that still need to get done. Santa only comes once a year and I want it to be special for him. 🎅🏻

And that is where I will leave you for today. As always, I thank you SO much for being here. For following my journey and for the support that I’ve been shown by so many of you. (Especially for reading the posts that were obviously done after the meds have kicked in. LOL)

I’ll be back before Christmas, but for those celebrating holidays right now, enjoy, be safe and may they be incredibly wonderful.

Until next time…cheers all!

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Made it this far? I thank you! Hang in there and let’s find the fun this holiday, ok? The way this year has gone, I think we all deserve a bit of fun. See you soon. 🥰

November – Goals? – Possible Rewrite

Photo credit: Engin_Akyurt on Pixabay.

Hey guys, welcome back and welcome to November! I am still in shock that it is already nearing the end of the year as in my mind, it’s still September. However, I love this time of the year and have been slowly transitioning from the Fall/Halloween decorations to the holiday stuff. Some may say it’s too early and I really do not care. If it makes you happy, you do it. And seeing our place decked out in thousands of lights always makes me happy.

Anywhoo, let’s get on with it shall we?

First off, hope everyone had a lot of fun and had some trick or treaters over Halloween. We had none, yet we bought enough candy for the entire city. (We like to be prepared.) I am one for traditions and do the same things every year. The only one I really flaked on though was my annual screening of the original Halloween. I like to make a game (used to be a drinking game but, meds) out of how many times PJ Soles says ‘totally.’ Trust me, it’s a lot and you can get one hell of a buzz off doing it. This year, I wasn’t feeling the movie though. I watched the first twenty minutes and went back to Big Bang reruns. Halloween was always huge with me. Loved dressing up, going to parties, going to our favorite bars and man, did my group of friends know how to do it up right! Miss those days, but that’s ok. I still celebrate in my own way and it is all a part of the best time of the year: Sept. 1st- Dec. 31st. Now, I’m looking forward to this month, thanksgiving, my birthday and letting the holiday season seep into my very soul…it’s what makes me, me.

So enough of that stuff, what about the book? Well, I’m stuck. Like super stuck. I’m in yet another read through, proud to say I’ve now hit the 10,000 word mark of words cut and still have hundreds of thousands left to go. I’m noticing something different this time around though and if you’ll indulge me a little, I need to get it out here and see if the thought still holds true…

I’m thinking a big rewrite may be in order. There, I said it.

The more I’m re-reading this manuscript, the more I’m finding an underlying storyline that I didn’t see before. Again, I’d very much like this to be a series and this is of course, the origin story. But I’ve been noticing that there are things I wrote that have been swept under the rug and could be crucial character traits for later on.

I’m also finding it impossible to figure out where the major cuts have to come from. I’ve said several times that to me, the way it is written now is exactly how I want it to read. But it is so long. Like, so, so long. I’ve been trying to also figure out if I can just cut what I have into several books. I mean, the word count is certainly there for a multiple book series as it is now. However, if I cut it up that way, it won’t make sense.  Ok, so next is mixing and matching chapters to reel it in better, but then the flow is lost. If I do a rewrite, I will be able to keep some of what’s there now, introduce more from the side characters and create more depth to the story earlier than what is presented in the draft I already have done.

Another thing I keep going back and forth on is the heavier storyline. This book is half romcom-half serious story with a message. If I keep the romcom aspects with the rewrite, yes, it would be an entire romantic comedy book. I could make the serious storyline a whole separate book but then there goes the FMC’s backstory. I’d also like to be able to use this platform as a way to get the more serious story out there. To prove that survival can happen. That you can in fact, not only move on from a dark past but also start a whole new life on your own terms. Up until this latest read through, I thought I did a damned good job of getting that message out there. Again, it is just a very LONG message. And just how bad do I want the heavier past to be?

If you understood any of that? Way to go! Imagine this going round and round in my head 24/7 even while I’m sleeping. This is life now. Well, this and reading…and watching Hamilton on repeat.

My goal was to have the first draft done by Christmas. I was hoping upon hope that with the new year, I’d have something to submit. Now here it is, November and I may have to rewrite this whole thing. Can I still meet the goal? I guess we’ll have to see! This my friends is what keeps me going. The utter insanity of trying to get a book done by the end of the year, while sick, while trying to get through my TBR list of books and while on meds that some nights? Have me reading the same paragraphs over and over again. I say, place your bets now to see if I can do this. (Hint: I’m damned determined to do this!)

And that is where I am leaving you for today. A crazed ramble of thoughts, more than I usually do, as my brain turns to mush while I read the same story on a loop. I think this time though? I’ve hit the nail on the head of what needs to be done. To pull from what is already written and turn it into the book that I KNOW is inside of me. To do the rewrite and make it something so much better than what I already have done. 

And if you’ve been following along with this? Please know, that I think you are awesome and I thank you for being there. Having a platform to work out my issues has been more than therapeutic. It has kept me focused and more than driven than ever to get this done.

Until next time, I wish you all a happy new month and may there be lots of awesome opportunities coming to you over these next weeks! Cheers guys!!

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I have lots of fall and holiday themed books listed in my on the bookshelf pages here on the site! Be sure to see the menu bar for my other pages and get yourself some seasonal reads!

If you’ve made it this far, I can’t thank you enough. Just, thank you. See you soon! 🍁

Blank – Focused – Writing Obsessed

Photo credit: congerdesign at Pixabay

Hey guys, welcome back! I hope everyone’s September is going well so far. I’ve been loving the cooler weather and reading during the rainy nights we’ve finally been getting. I’ll admit though, my mind has been blanking on what to write here, so let’s see where this post goes today, shall we?

While creating posts for the site has proven to be somewhat of a challenge lately, I’ve been uber focused on my book. I can’t stop thinking about it, working on it and it’s even affecting my sleep and dreams lately. It’s also starting to blur the lines between what’s real and what happened in a chapter…although that could be the meds I’ve been taking lately for an illness that just won’t seem to go away. (I’d like to chalk it up to that instead of losing touch with reality.)

In my previous posts I’ve talked about how I keep rereading my manuscript. I’m still doing that and in the process, have been rewriting sections, editing and adding to the text as a whole. Suddenly scenes that I thought were complete, are now really taking shape even more. If I haven’t said this before I will say it now: YOU CAN NEVER READ YOUR WORK ENOUGH!

Seriously, keep reading your work over and over again!

No matter how many times I read through these chapters, I continually find odd typos here and there that I’ve missed the other five-six times I’ve read it. I’m finding that scenes that I thought were fine previously, really weren’t and needed more detail. Character traits that seemed perfect in the past, I’m now realizing, wow, I missed something there! And never forget, continuity issues!!

I am constantly finding issues with continuity that I had no clue were completely off. If the story doesn’t make sense to you, it sure as hell won’t make sense to your future readers.

It amazes me that the more I read this book and the more I think I’m coming to the end where I can finally submit this work somewhere, the more I’m finding that it needs work. The more I freak out that I’m going to miss something major that will prevent me from getting this sold. The stress has creeped in and taken hold and I’m already dealing with a lot on the personal front and it is just adding to it. Life never stops moving and I have to keep telling myself that this is my own doing. That I created this issue myself and yet, this is so damned important to me. I just want it to be the best it can be so it can lead to something greater and eventually stop the other stress that is going on in my life.

I’m slightly losing it. But knowing this is the first step, amiright? So here I am admitting that yes, I am obsessed with my own work. There, I’ve said it. I feel a little better! Score one for being aware enough to write about an obsession for writing. (Did that even make sense?)

I follow many other authors on #booktok and one thing I love about doing that is knowing that I’m not the only one who is struggling like this. That’s one of the reasons why I started writing about my journey here. To possibly help other writers know that hey, it’s not just you going through this! We are all a little off center as most creatives are. It’s what makes us, us. It’s what drives us to create new works and want to share ourselves with others. We are not in this alone. Really, we’re not. So just keep doing you.

And that is where I will leave you for tonight. So see? Sometimes you can stare at the blank page with no ideas and end up writing something that is not only cathartic to you personally but that may just help someone else in the process!

Hope you got something out of this post and until next time…Cheers!

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Stuck – Stuck – More Stuck

Photo credit: picjumbo_com at Pixabay.

Hey guys, welcome back! As I sit here thinking of something to write, I’m also thinking how thankful I am to have you all to write for. I’ve been so lucky to have an audience for my posts, my ramblings, my writing journey. When I was writing my first book, I didn’t do this. It took me years to finish that first draft. It is taking even longer to edit it. But this current work in progress, well, this has been a mission. This has been my baby and I’m so glad I am documenting this ride of mine. I’ve heard from other authors that they are going through similar situations as mine and I’m so glad I’m not alone.

For example, I’m currently stuck. Like really stuck. I was getting close to writing the last chapters of this book. Then I stalled. Not just because a part of me doesn’t want this story to end, but because I thought of a whole new way to tell it!

So ok, I go back to the beginning again, I wrote an alternate first chapter. I liked it a lot and it gave me more ideas. What’s wrong with this? Plenty.

Although the amount of work it would take to rewrite the story again from another perspective is daunting, it would also lend more depth to it as a whole so there’s that. Also, my current word count is huge. Like, huge. The editing process for this book is going to be massive and is going to kill me to cut as much as I need to.

I have read and reread this work so many times, it is how I want it to be right now. Well, that’s at this current moment. It changes minute to minute. I think it’s because I don’t want to finish it just yet and am looking for excuses to postpone the last chapters. I’ll snap out of it of course, but in the meantime, I’m torn…I’m…stuck.

Do I go back and add to this and offer two perspectives or do I just go in and edit what I already have? I keep going back and forth on the best way to proceed and in the process, I just keep reading it over and over again. So, I continue to be stuck.

I’m hoping the answer will come to me between the lines. That there will be something that jumps out at me to say “this is it!” So far, nothing. The back and forth continues and then I write the other perspective. If I continue doing that, then it’s even more words I’ll have to cut.

I mentioned in my last post that I did some editing work in my past. I know I can be brutal when I have to be when reworking sentences, paragraphs, chapters. But that is with someone else’s work. With my own? Let’s just say that I don’t take criticism very well, even my own. When I wrote for others and something of mine needed to be edited? I didn’t take it well at all. Just the idea of someone else hacking up my work gives me a stomach ache. But seriously the word count? Massive. So the hacking must be done.

Also, the amount of research going into this book has been a big part of this journey. Not just for the story itself, but also for the work. Learning about querying agents, traditional publishing vs. self publishing, learning from other authors and bouncing ideas off of them and of course, word counts. I’ve been looking at other books in the same genre that I love to see what their counts are. Chapter length, page count, all of it. This is going to be the first book of mine that I want to get out there and it needs to reflect my best work. I want to get it right. I think this is one of the reasons I’ve been freaking out about all of this and will continue to do so until I can finally say, “hey! My first draft is done!” Until then, I shall remain stuck.

I wish this was more uplifting, a little more motivational, but not every day can be like that. Some days, the reality sets in and we have to sit back and take a breath. Take a moment to reflect on what we are doing and if we are doing it the right way. Look at it from a fresh perspective and hope that when we complete what we have started, it is right with us. I will forever be proud of what I have written, which is why the idea of cutting so much is killing me. However, to get this out there to the readers? I will do what is needed to put out my best work possible. (Did I turn this post around at all? I hope so!)

And that is where I will leave you for today. Thanks so much again for being here, for reading my blog and for your support. For without you, I wouldn’t be here.

Until next time…Cheers!

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Revision – Procrastination – New Version

Photo credit: Pexels on Pixabay.

Hey guys, welcome back! Been a productive week besides being sick, (again). I ended the week picking yet another pumpkin from our mini pumpkin patch and getting the first PSLs of the season! We have a place here in town that makes the best pumpkin spice lattes on the planet and we scored a couple this afternoon. My heart is happy. 

Anyway, I have been busy with the book and had a few days this week with a big smile on my face as I got to some particularly heart warming chapters. After having a slight breakdown during the more emotional ones that I had been working on for a couple of weeks, it was nice to write a few that brought the happiness my way. I just hope that when it is finally read by others, they too will like how the story brings such emotions. I want this to be a book that has you laughing, crying, cringing, loving and basically feeling all the feelings.

I’ve been dealing with a lot of procrastination in finishing this manuscript. I really don’t want it to end. As I’ve said in numerous posts, I love these characters and this fictional town so much, it has been my escape and I’m pretty happy living there every night. So the idea of having it end is killing me. Sure I’ve been thinking of continuing it with a sequel or making it into a series, but this is the first one and it’s the one that truly has my heart.

After doing the full reread of the entire thing so far, I noticed that I was coming up with a whole other idea for this book in my head. I really believe that this story can be told through the eyes of both lead characters and not just the one. So now I’m thinking a complete revision may be in order. Is this a way to postpone finishing the first draft? Possibly. However, I think it could also bring more depth to the story as a whole if I alternated the character’s points of views. I enjoy books that do this myself, so this may be something that works really well for this one. I’ve lived her story in my head for months and I’m finding that his voice is now there and leading me to his side of the story. I’m kind of excited to see where this will take me, plus, I would get to revisit the early story all over again. My thinking too is that if I do decide to go forward with this? I will have two versions and can then decide from there which will work better.

Having done some editing work myself, I’m noticing places where his side can fit rather well into the grand scheme of things. A little slice here, a major cut there and the insertion of the flip side of events and boom, the scenes will feel much richer in the long run.

Again, this could all be because I just don’t want to finish this book. I mean, I really do want it to be done because I believe in it so damned much. At the same time, I don’t because I love it so damned much. I just want this to be the best I can give my future audience and hope that they will end up loving these people as much as I do.

And that is where I will leave you for today.

Thanks as always for being here and reading my ramblings. I appreciate all the visits, the likes, the shares and support that you guys give me so much. I hope you know that. 🥰

Until next time…cheers!

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