Stuck – Stuck – More Stuck

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Hey guys, welcome back! As I sit here thinking of something to write, I’m also thinking how thankful I am to have you all to write for. I’ve been so lucky to have an audience for my posts, my ramblings, my writing journey. When I was writing my first book, I didn’t do this. It took me years to finish that first draft. It is taking even longer to edit it. But this current work in progress, well, this has been a mission. This has been my baby and I’m so glad I am documenting this ride of mine. I’ve heard from other authors that they are going through similar situations as mine and I’m so glad I’m not alone.

For example, I’m currently stuck. Like really stuck. I was getting close to writing the last chapters of this book. Then I stalled. Not just because a part of me doesn’t want this story to end, but because I thought of a whole new way to tell it!

So ok, I go back to the beginning again, I wrote an alternate first chapter. I liked it a lot and it gave me more ideas. What’s wrong with this? Plenty.

Although the amount of work it would take to rewrite the story again from another perspective is daunting, it would also lend more depth to it as a whole so there’s that. Also, my current word count is huge. Like, huge. The editing process for this book is going to be massive and is going to kill me to cut as much as I need to.

I have read and reread this work so many times, it is how I want it to be right now. Well, that’s at this current moment. It changes minute to minute. I think it’s because I don’t want to finish it just yet and am looking for excuses to postpone the last chapters. I’ll snap out of it of course, but in the meantime, I’m torn…I’m…stuck.

Do I go back and add to this and offer two perspectives or do I just go in and edit what I already have? I keep going back and forth on the best way to proceed and in the process, I just keep reading it over and over again. So, I continue to be stuck.

I’m hoping the answer will come to me between the lines. That there will be something that jumps out at me to say “this is it!” So far, nothing. The back and forth continues and then I write the other perspective. If I continue doing that, then it’s even more words I’ll have to cut.

I mentioned in my last post that I did some editing work in my past. I know I can be brutal when I have to be when reworking sentences, paragraphs, chapters. But that is with someone else’s work. With my own? Let’s just say that I don’t take criticism very well, even my own. When I wrote for others and something of mine needed to be edited? I didn’t take it well at all. Just the idea of someone else hacking up my work gives me a stomach ache. But seriously the word count? Massive. So the hacking must be done.

Also, the amount of research going into this book has been a big part of this journey. Not just for the story itself, but also for the work. Learning about querying agents, traditional publishing vs. self publishing, learning from other authors and bouncing ideas off of them and of course, word counts. I’ve been looking at other books in the same genre that I love to see what their counts are. Chapter length, page count, all of it. This is going to be the first book of mine that I want to get out there and it needs to reflect my best work. I want to get it right. I think this is one of the reasons I’ve been freaking out about all of this and will continue to do so until I can finally say, “hey! My first draft is done!” Until then, I shall remain stuck.

I wish this was more uplifting, a little more motivational, but not every day can be like that. Some days, the reality sets in and we have to sit back and take a breath. Take a moment to reflect on what we are doing and if we are doing it the right way. Look at it from a fresh perspective and hope that when we complete what we have started, it is right with us. I will forever be proud of what I have written, which is why the idea of cutting so much is killing me. However, to get this out there to the readers? I will do what is needed to put out my best work possible. (Did I turn this post around at all? I hope so!)

And that is where I will leave you for today. Thanks so much again for being here, for reading my blog and for your support. For without you, I wouldn’t be here.

Until next time…Cheers!

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Revision – Procrastination – New Version

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Hey guys, welcome back! Been a productive week besides being sick, (again). I ended the week picking yet another pumpkin from our mini pumpkin patch and getting the first PSLs of the season! We have a place here in town that makes the best pumpkin spice lattes on the planet and we scored a couple this afternoon. My heart is happy. 

Anyway, I have been busy with the book and had a few days this week with a big smile on my face as I got to some particularly heart warming chapters. After having a slight breakdown during the more emotional ones that I had been working on for a couple of weeks, it was nice to write a few that brought the happiness my way. I just hope that when it is finally read by others, they too will like how the story brings such emotions. I want this to be a book that has you laughing, crying, cringing, loving and basically feeling all the feelings.

I’ve been dealing with a lot of procrastination in finishing this manuscript. I really don’t want it to end. As I’ve said in numerous posts, I love these characters and this fictional town so much, it has been my escape and I’m pretty happy living there every night. So the idea of having it end is killing me. Sure I’ve been thinking of continuing it with a sequel or making it into a series, but this is the first one and it’s the one that truly has my heart.

After doing the full reread of the entire thing so far, I noticed that I was coming up with a whole other idea for this book in my head. I really believe that this story can be told through the eyes of both lead characters and not just the one. So now I’m thinking a complete revision may be in order. Is this a way to postpone finishing the first draft? Possibly. However, I think it could also bring more depth to the story as a whole if I alternated the character’s points of views. I enjoy books that do this myself, so this may be something that works really well for this one. I’ve lived her story in my head for months and I’m finding that his voice is now there and leading me to his side of the story. I’m kind of excited to see where this will take me, plus, I would get to revisit the early story all over again. My thinking too is that if I do decide to go forward with this? I will have two versions and can then decide from there which will work better.

Having done some editing work myself, I’m noticing places where his side can fit rather well into the grand scheme of things. A little slice here, a major cut there and the insertion of the flip side of events and boom, the scenes will feel much richer in the long run.

Again, this could all be because I just don’t want to finish this book. I mean, I really do want it to be done because I believe in it so damned much. At the same time, I don’t because I love it so damned much. I just want this to be the best I can give my future audience and hope that they will end up loving these people as much as I do.

And that is where I will leave you for today.

Thanks as always for being here and reading my ramblings. I appreciate all the visits, the likes, the shares and support that you guys give me so much. I hope you know that. 🥰

Until next time…cheers!

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Characters – Story – Early Pumpkins

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Hey guys, welcome back! Hope everyone is doing great out there and enjoying their Summers. We just picked our first pumpkins today! Yes, I know, it’s very early…don’t care. Last year, we put out some pumpkins for our critter friends and a horrible overgrown tree grew over them. When they cut the tree down, an accidental pumpkin patch emerged and lo and behold, on August 18th, the first ones were ready to pick! As someone who would live in Fall year round? This was the perfect way to start the week.


Anywhoo…let’s get to it shall we?

Over the past week, I’ve done almost no writing. Instead, I’ve been doing a complete reread of my manuscript to make sure that it flows, the tone is consistent and the story holds up. What’s so great about doing these rereads (something I highly recommend doing if you are writing a book) is that because it’s been months since I’ve started it, reading the early chapters again is like reading the book for the first time. There is so much that I don’t remember writing. Not so much the story of course, that will always be at the top of my mind. But rather little one liners and character traits I threw in there early. Little tidbits of information and backstory that I had to constantly make notes of to go back to in these now later chapters that I’m in. What was a great surprise to me is that, as I read this as a new reader, I laughed, I cried, I was pretty proud of myself throughout the entire thing. Sure, some parts made me cringe and called for rewrites…again, this is why you do this! Overall though, I think it’s going ok.

I’ve mentioned before in an earlier post that I have found myself in a genre problem. I started this book with the full intention of it being a romcom. I love me a good romantic comedy, (thank you Nora Ephron for my early inspiration) and have wanted to write one of my own for some time. For the most part, that’s what this novel truly is. The issue comes into a deeper plot point that is a bit darker and deals with issues that could be trigger sensitive to some. And no, I’m not talking ‘dark romance’ stuff, that’s not my deal. At least, not this book.

When I decided to read this again from start to (almost) finish, I wanted to see if the story would still hold. Would it be that obvious where the two don’t mesh together? Would it not work as a complete story? Would it be a noticeable jump from comedy to drama? I’m both happy and confused to say that I never saw where the jump happens. It flowed well, worked out seamlessly and it can be kept as it is, unless I decide to completely rewrite the darker chapters and come up with an entirely different storyline. I’ve been literally losing sleep about this. I happen to like what I wrote a lot. But it takes what was once a fully romantic comedy and changes the genre to what? I don’t know. ‘Contemporary Romance’ maybe? Or the oh so dreaded general ‘Women’s fiction?’ (I will forever hate that ‘genre’.)

I am so confused by all of this I don’t know where to go with it.

What has been great about doing all of this is getting thoroughly reacquainted with the characters. From start to finish. Reminding myself of their quirks, their humor, their affection for one another across all of the relationships and of course, the support they have during some life challenges that come their way.

Writing this in the first person has been fun. Reading it this way has also blurred the lines sometimes between ‘was it something I read or did that actually happen to me?” Not that the story is me by any means, but you get it, right? You get so involved with a story, whether a book or a series, etc and a week or two later you can’t remember if it was real, a dream or hey that actually happened! Every night after reading a few chapters, it took me a while to shake out of that feeling. I’ve already been dealing with this on the nights that I’m writing because again, I’m writing it as the character. Basically, it’s been an odd journey this time around. I didn’t write my first book this way and this is all new territory for me. I feel though that by doing this, I’ve created more depth and more feeling to the main character and I really hope that comes across to other readers  as well. I want her story to be one that is not only one that you cheer for, but also one that is relatable, as well as one that you can feel for deeply during her darkest moments. She is truly a character I’m proud of and have loved writing her so much.

I just wish I could find that special sign that would come to me that says, yes! Keep it this way! Keep all of it! Or on the flip side…trash it. Rewrite it. Forget that you even went that way, what the hell were you thinking? But so far, no magical symbol has come my way to sway me either way. It works as it is and maybe this isn’t the book that should be my total foray into a complete romcom experience.

In the meantime, my ulcer grows, my story keeps going and the editing continues. I will say this, the closer I’m getting to wrapping up this book, (and seriously considering writing a sequel to it to keep the characters going), I’m also looking into querying agents. I had thought about going the self publishing route, but I’m immensely excited about this book and would like to see it in much more professional hands. Right now, I need to completely finish this manuscript and stop thinking of ways to keep the story going! Every time I think I can find a way to end it, I think of something else. I just don’t want to say goodbye to these people yet. So my ending has to be something that will be good for everyone. Myself, my characters and of course, my readers.

And that is where I leave you for today! I hope you’ve gotten something out of this post and I thank you so much for following along with my continued writing journey. I think if I had blogged during the writing of my first book, I’d be much further along with getting that one out to the public, instead of having put it aside in edits to write this new one. Procrastination is the curse of the writer and I have it in spades. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Until next time…cheers!

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Focus – Concentration – Favorite Chapter

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Hey guys, welcome back! I hope this week has been going well for you, it certainly has for me! I’ve done more marathon nights of writing and in between these focused binges, I got to see the Connecticut team win the first game of the Little League World Series! (Go Fairfield!) I love watching this series every year. I’m a rabid baseball fan and watching these kids brings me hope, as they show a level of sportsmanship that I wish more adults would. They are fun games and it’s great to watch them making friends with kids from all around the world. (I also love it when they show MLB players in the stands having fun and being true fans.)

Anywhoo…my concentration has been laser focused on the latest chapters of my book. I wrote so much over the last two nights alone, my eyes have become blurred, dry and bloodshot and the headache is incredible. I’m not gonna lie, a ton of caffeine has been involved in this sudden burst of productivity, but it’s been oh so worth it.

Just this morning, I finished what is possibly my most favorite chapter of the entire thing. After a few emotional days with a rather deep plot point, to have some more lighthearted things to write has been a lot of fun. I really enjoyed this part of the story. And after rereading this current chapter again to make sure I got it just right, I have to say, I’m so happy with how it turned out. I’ve been going over the first chapters of the book once again as well. By reacquainting myself with the earlier tone of the writing, I think that it’s really helped bring this third act full circle.

There is still so much work that has to be done on my manuscript. A whole lot of editing, rewrites and more. But for now, at this particular moment, I’m happy with what I’ve written. I still have a little more to go before the first draft is officially complete, but this has been a true labor of love. One that I’ve been so proud to work on. My total obsession that lives in my thoughts 24/7. I dream about these characters, this small town that I’ve invented, this couple and their journey. A part of me doesn’t want to get to the next part. A huge part of me doesn’t want to actually finish this book. It has been my escape from real life, my hideout, my haven as it were. I don’t want to say goodbye to it. In reality, I won’t have to for some time, as again, lots of work still to be done. But knowing that the end of this particular story is close is starting to weigh on me. I’m just hoping that I can give these people the ending that they truly deserve. An ending that my readers truly deserve.

And that is where I’m leaving you for today. I know this one was short and sweet, but I’ve been writing now for 8 hours straight and wanted to write this post while the good mood was still with me!

I thank you as always for being here and following along. Until next time…Cheers!

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Procrastination – Emotions – Genre Issues

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Hey guys, welcome back! It’s been a time here on my hill and just trying to get through the rest of the Summer. Actually, it’s been going pretty well! I’d personally like to thank the makers of meds for helping me get more mobile this season. (The side effects of being a bit loopy are just a bonus.)

Anywhoooo…I’ve just been through emotional hell with my book. Strange for a romcom? You betcha! The story that I’m writing does have an underlying plot line of a serious nature which is now making me rethink the genre of the book as a whole. While a good portion of it is a romantic comedy, the rest is a bit deeper. Which then begs the question, what the hell genre is this anyway?

When it comes to romance books it can be categorized in many ways. The all too generic ‘romance’, the sappy old school soap opera type book, the Hallmarkian syrupy sweet species, ‘dark romance’, you know, the ones with a whole lot of spice? There’s ’contemporary romance’, historical, fantasy aka. ‘romantasy’, the list goes on and on. Then of course there is the dreaded “women’s fiction.”

I HATE that category! Many women authors are with me on this. It makes our work sound like less than and it makes me crazy. But that’s a rant for another time. (Something to look forward to, huh?)

I believe right now, my book is headed towards the ‘contemporary romance’ genre. It kind of combines several into one and that’s how the story has been going. The other option, one I’ve been toying with, is cutting full chapters out and rewriting the entire third act. If I did that, I’d have enough material to start a whole different book, or I stick with this one and see it to the end.

The other issue here is that, I believe the story I’m telling is one that should be told. It has it’s place and like life, we deal with serious situations with humor, love and shopping. Ok that last one was just thrown in to see if you were paying attention. 😉

I will say this, the chapters recently written were very hard to write. I literally typed with tears in my eyes and had to keep stopping to wipe them because I could no longer see the screen. Yes, that is how deep this book has gotten. It was completely unexpected and if anything, by revealing this? It is proving that I am truly putting my heart and soul into this story.

With such an emotional storyline, I’ve also been having trouble getting through it. Not because I’m not happy with it, but because I know what’s coming next. I always want to get to the next scene. In my head, I’m skipping over the parts I’m writing at the moment and already writing what’s next. This has led to some procrastination issues.

I’ll be going along fine, then hit a snag. I’m talking to my screen constantly asking where I was going with this line or that paragraph. So I stop what I’m doing, pick up my phone and play word games. Sometimes to clear out my mind, sometimes to put off writing the next thing. When the tougher scenes were happening, I did this a lot. I had a lot of trouble writing them emotionally and needed a buffer. Although, the entire time I was playing these games, I was chastising myself for putting off just getting through them. After all, once they were written, I wouldn’t have to think of them again until it was time to edit. Instead, it took me much longer than usual for me to write them and as a true procrastinator in life, I hated that my old habits came to the surface.

I think the one thing that has gotten me through doing these last few chapters is the hope that the emotions of them will come through to the reader. That they will feel what I’ve poured out on the pages. That the story shows that we can survive our past and look to a much better future.

And that is where I will leave you for today. I hope some of this made sense. Because whatever your craft, sometimes we just need to get out what’s in our head before we can move forward. Whether this book stays how it is or not, at least I know that what I’ve already written will have its place somewhere…and hopefully, resonate with the ones who read it.

Thanks so much for being here today and until next time…Cheers!

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