Hey all! Welcome back and thanks for keeping up with me. Been a weird week productivity-wise. I’ve gotten a lot done! I’ve actually edited quite a number of chapters (yay), have written a number of chapters and have also read 2 1/2 books since my last post last week.

In the middle of all of this, I had a few days of absolute ridiculousness.

If you have read my backstory at all, (about me page that’s a little old now), you know that I deal with several illnesses at once. I am on several medications and a pretty strict med schedule. But in late November 2024, while doing a good deed for my neighbors, I missed a step in the dark and came down hard on my foot and ankle. I heard a crack and what I thought were broken bones, my dr said might have actually been the tendons and ligaments snapping. If you think it reads bad, the sound has not left me since the night it happened.

Anywhoo, as I wait for my MRI tomorrow, they had me switch my meds around. Which is fine, I needed a shakeup. I’ve been on the same things now for quite a while and a switch now and then can sometimes help. Last time we did this, I purged my system of all the meds I was taking and suddenly could walk somewhat normally again. This time, it’s both helped and hindered my situation bringing on some old pain with a vengeance and also making my brain feel like mush.

When I tweaked them a little more, I was suddenly more productive than I had been in weeks! What a feeling this was! It was like being caffeinated and on some pretty high end speed all at the same time and because of it, I got into a great routine of reading for a few hours, editing for a few hours and then writing for a few hours! I got so much done in those couple of days I thought I was on a good schedule to have my first edited draft ready to go to the next step of reformatting and taking another read through for one more tweak, while also finishing the writing of my second book within the month. All this and I am now up to book 5 out of 9 in the series I am reading and hoping to finish by March 1st. It’s my personal goal for my February Cancer fundraiser. To say I was on a roll would be an understatement.

And then…

I ran out of one of my prescriptions. So I was making do with some more basic stuff and tons of Tylenol. The pain, not just from the foot, but my overall pain that I live with came back and it was to the point of distraction. I couldn’t concentrate very well. I could read a bit, but the writing and such had to be pushed aside. I found the prescription they had taken me off of when I hurt the foot and thought that might help. BIG MISTAKE. The one and only pill I took basically put me in an awake coma state. I was so tired, I could barely pick my arm up. Plus, it didn’t help the pain at all. In fact, it seemed to exasperate it quite a bit. I could barely walk, even just to my kitchen which is about 25 steps away. Standing was excruciating and I couldn’t wait until the dose was out of my system. I still don’t understand why it hit me this way when I had been on it for almost two years and it was one of the drugs that helped me walk and be more ‘normal’ two years ago before I had another setback.

So ok, no more of that one. I went back to the routine they gave me after the foot incident and while it’s at least helping me think more clearly and have more energy, it will be some time before the stronger pain subsides again.

Why am I telling you all of this? Well, first, it’s my blog and I use it for a sort of therapy. But also because there are other folks like myself who are extremely sensitive to side effects and many don’t understand that. I am so sensitive that a high dose of Tylenol can knock me out!

So imagine being on multiple kinds of heavy pain meds at once and trying to read or write a book? Or even, trying to read a label on some food you are about to cook? Simple tasks become not so simple.

Then flip it…get a good combination and suddenly it’s like seeing the world for the first time! Your energy is up, your vision is clear, you can’t keep up with your mind that is going a hundred miles an hour and wants to do everything it possibly can but your body is not in the physical shape to do so.

The one thing I am so grateful for is my creativity. That’s not an ego thing by any means. For some they can go for a bike ride, some can get out and hike or drive somewhere special. I can’t do that. I am home in bed 99% of my time. So my outlet is writing and creating. I used to make jewelry for over 20 years but my hands can’t work the tools properly anymore. I have tons of craft supplies waiting to be used, but I always go back to my keyboard. While I do have to keep an eye out for how long I’ve been typing, (my hands swell if I do too much), I can still use it to punch out a few chapters of the story I want to tell or put together a post like this. One that gives me an outlet for my own mind but maybe may help someone else in the process.

To those who tell you, and yes I have heard this from doctors, “being overly sensitive to meds is in your head”, screw them. You know yourself better than anyone!

I’m lucky right now to have a group of doctors who actually listen to me. Two in particular are letting ME take control of the dosage of a med because there are some days that the high dose is just too much and I simply can’t function while on it. So they’ve given me two different strengths of it to use as I need to and it has been, overall, the best thing they could have done. You can also ask your doctors about this. NEVER BE AFRAID TO ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF! I have learned this lesson well in the past 8 1/2 years. I have learned to speak up, ask a ton of questions, go in with lists of things I need to talk about but are afraid I will forget while I’m in the room. One of my doctors just takes my phone and reads the list first, writes it all down and then we discuss it for an hour. THAT is what it’s like to have someone on your side. It has taken me years to have this happen, I have been told everything from, “there’s nothing wrong with you” to “you have six months to live, get your affairs in order.” (Btw, that was 15 years ago, jokes on him, I’m still here!) I used to be petrified to say anything if I felt what they said wasn’t right. Switching doctors? Ha! I’d go with one that was doing more harm than good because I was too scared to speak up. Not any more!

I admit that this post took a strange turn while I was writing it. I was going to talk about my progress this week. How well I’ve been back at writing and that I’ve finally been editing again. But you know what? Life is life and sometimes, that is the more important issue.

We do what we can. We get up every day and try our best. Am I mad at myself that for two days I did absolutely no writing or editing? Hell yes. I was doing great before I switched those meds up. But now here it is, two days later and earlier, I was able to do some things that needed doing around the house.  I’m now writing this. After I post, I will head back to my second manuscript and get in some more writing there as well. Am I still in pain? Always. I live with it 24/7. But I can focus and that, to me, is most important right now. When I can’t focus and get into the medicine brain fog, I lose sight of myself and it is frustrating. I know there are things I should be doing but can barely think or move. When I have the ‘good’ days of being able to function, I do as much as I possibly can and pay the consequences the next day. I already know tomorrow will be a tough one, but tonight? Proud of myself for doing…being…functioning.

I don’t know how many of you will reach this far and that’s fine. Again, I sometimes use this as my own form of therapy. Maybe I needed to get this out to clear my head so that I could write a few chapters tonight. Who knows? But what I said, I truly believe in. Never be afraid to be your own champion. Especially when it comes to your health. Don’t like your doctor? Switch! Meds not doing it for you? Ask if there is an alternative. And if you have days where you cannot move because of the pain, give yourself permission to rest and be ok with it. This last one is the one I have the most trouble with. I used to be on the go all the time so getting used to just having to stay in bed has been the hardest. But you know what? There are times that it is very necessary and hey, because of it, I was able to finally have the time to write a book!

Learn how to take the negatives and spin them around. Easy? Hell no! I live with depression, I know it’s not all motivational speeches and fortune cookies. But we have to find the opportunities that can happen. They may take time to find. They may be hidden in plain sight or they may have been right in front of us all along. Take a moment, take a breath and look at what is in front of you. Whether you are healthy or not, maybe you are looking for something different. Or maybe you have wanted to do something your whole life and never thought you’d get the chance. I always wanted the time to write a book. (Ok, so be careful what you wish for because this certainly wasn’t how I imagined the time would come to me.) But still, I had the time, I took a chance and I did it.

Sometimes opportunity comes to you in strange ways…don’t miss it!

Until next week folks. Thanks for sticking with me and following along my journey! Cheers all. 🙂 

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If you like journaling or would like to start journaling your own life progress, I have several blank journals that I have designed listed on Amazon. Some are just plain bulleted and lined books and some are done in a scrapbooking style that are non-traditional, but I created to make it a more creative experience: Click here for info